


love came out of the rain

by fraudulentzodiacs



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Mutual Pining, and by someone i mean sammy, someone wrap EJ in a blanket and cuddle him
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-07
Updated: 2020-08-07
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:20:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,688
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25771972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fraudulentzodiacs/pseuds/fraudulentzodiacs
Summary: That isn’t what this is, though, Erik tells himself. This isn’t Sam wanting to be with Erik, this is Sam needing Erik to help him through a difficult thing. This is Sam needing Erik to be his friend, his partner, not anything else. Erik knows that this won’t end well for him – being with Sam without actually being with him – but he also knew what he was going to say before Sam even asked.“Of course.”aka Sam goes into heat and needs a partner, so he asks a hopelessly in love EJ
Relationships: Samuel Girard/Erik Johnson
Comments: 18
Kudos: 138





	love came out of the rain

**Author's Note:**

> shoutout to @kkane88 as usual for being the most awesomest of betas!

It feels odd, gearing up for hockey at the end of July. But, Erik figures, 2020’s already a dumpster fire of a year so why  _ shouldn’t _ they be trying to hold the playoffs in the middle of a worldwide pandemic?

Erik smells Sam before he feels him sit down in the seat next to him on the plane. In the two and a half years that Sam’s been on the team, Erik has found that he’s attuned to Sam in a way he isn’t with anyone else on the team – anyone else in the  _ world _ , maybe. Erik knows it’s, in part at least, due to the fact that he’s been in love with the omega defenseman since almost the moment they’d met, but no one needs to know that except for Erik.

“Hello mon chum,” Sam greets, and Erik smiles. “After we arrive at the hotel I need to speak with you about something, if you have the time.”

“We’re going to be trapped in that hotel for months, I think I can make some time for you.” Sam’s answering smile is soft and small, and Erik isn’t surprised when, twenty minutes into their flight to Edmonton, Sam’s head tips onto Erik’s shoulder. He sleeps that way for most of the flight, and Erik does his best not to disturb him as he scrolls through social media on his phone.

They’re transported directly from the plane to the hotel via bus. There’s not a lot of things of interest to see in Edmonton, but Erik finds himself taking in the scenery as much as he can, knowing that he’ll only see the hotel and the rink for the foreseeable future. It’s what they signed up for, but he can’t say that he’s happy about being cooped up with a bunch of hockey players for months on end.

They’re dropped off at the hotel, ushered into a conference room where staff is waiting to hand out their room keys. They’re in single rooms, and Erik is grateful for that at least. The room is a bland, nondescript mix of grays and blacks, and Erik sits on the end of the bed and takes in the space that’s going to be his home away from home.

Erik’s settled in and scrolling through the channels on his TV when he hears a knock on his door. He’s not surprised to find Sam on the other side, and he lets him in with a clap on his shoulder that Sam seems to lean into just slightly. It makes something warm curl in his stomach that he immediately squashes down. He absolutely refuses to examine it further, because down that road lies  _ madness _ .

“Is it okay if we speak now, mon chum?” Sam bounces slightly when he jumps onto the bed.

“Of course.” Sam pats the space next to him, and Erik can only catch the nervousness in his gaze because he’s known his d-partner for so long. “What’s going on?”

Sam seems to take a calming, fortifying breath before speaking, staring at Erik.

“As you know, I am an omega.” Erik nods, and Sam continues. “I typically schedule my heat for the offseason, as do most of the omegas in the league.”

“Uh-huh.” It’s been a long time since Erik has dated a player, but he remembered when T.J. went into heat and Erik had to fly from Minnesota to Washington to help him through.

“But now, we have playoffs and I am here in the bubble and my heat will happen while we are here.”

“Oh, shit.” It hadn’t occurred to Erik, but it made sense. There were probably a lot of omegas in the league who were facing the same predicament. “And you’re away from Jacklyn.”

“Mmm.” Sam nods, staring down at his hands. “I can go through my heat alone, but…” He drifts off, and Erik knows why. He’s never experienced it himself, of course, but he’s heard from omega teammates just how torturous riding out a heat alone can be. How your anxiety spikes, your muscles cramp, how you just generally freak out without an alpha to soothe you.

“How can I help you?” Erik finds himself asking before he can stop himself, and Sam directs a nervous smile at him.

“I know it is a lot to ask, but there is no one I trust more than you. Would you consider being my heat partner?”

The question hits Erik like a punch to the gut. He’d suspected that was where this conversation was going, but to hear the words – to have Sam  _ asking _ Erik to take him to bed, to fuck him for days on his knot until they’re both exhausted and spent – it makes him want to tackle Sam to the bed and cover him with his scent and never let him go.

That isn’t what this is, though, Erik tells himself. This isn’t Sam wanting to  _ be _ with Erik, this is Sam needing Erik to help him through a difficult thing. This is Sam needing Erik to be his friend, his partner, not anything else. Erik knows that this won’t end well for him – being with Sam without actually being with him – but he also knew what he was going to say before Sam even asked.

“Of course.”

They play the Oilers in the first round, taking the first two games before the Oilers come back and sweep the next three games. Game Six is fierce, chippy, but they manage to eke out a win in OT when Landy scores against Koskinen. They practically limp back to the hotel, Erik’s entire body hurts, but they only have one day off before Game Seven.

Sam is jittery and on edge in the stall next to Erik as they put their gear on. He can’t sit still, bouncing in his seat until Erik rests his hand on the back of his neck. Sam stills immediately, his scent turning from sharp to something softer, and his shoulders droop as he leans into Erik’s space.

“Are you going into heat?” Erik asks softly, trying not to draw the attention of their teammates.

“Yes,” Sam replies, barely audible.

“We should tell Coach.”

“No!” Sam’s head whips up, knocking Erik’s hand off of him, and Sam instinctively leans against his arm forcontact. “No, I can make it through this game.”

“Sam…”

“No. We’ve made it this far, I’m seeing it through.  _ We’re _ seeing it through.”

Erik studies Sam. His instincts are screaming to take his omega back to his den, a safe space away from everyone where he can protect him and take care of him. But, he also knows that if he pushes it Sam will fight him kicking and screaming the entire time, and the last thing he wants is a heat-crazy pissed off Sam Girard in his bed.

“Okay,” he concedes. “But if it gets worse, we’re leaving.”

The game is chaos. McDavid scores five minutes in, but Nate evens things up with thirty seconds left in the first period, an absolutely filthy goal that has them fired up going into the second. Erik keeps one eye on Sam the entire time, and he watches the fierce determination on his partner’s face with appreciation and attraction. He tries to focus on the game and only the game, but he can’t help but think about the fact that after the game he’ll get to take Sam to his room and have all of that determination directed at him. When Draisaitl scores early in the third, though, Erik realizes that if they lose this game then that means they’re out – they can go home. Sam can probably get a flight back home before the worst of his heat hits, back to Jacklyn, and then he won’t need Erik.

Erik’s not sure if he wants that or not, at this point. Then, Nate ties it up again and there’s still a chance…

When Josty sends to puck flying to Erik’s stick, he takes off down the ice and the decision’s made for him when the puck hits the back of the net with two minutes left in the game. His team crashes into him, but Sam had reached him first, and he’s pressed up against Erik and he’s all Erik can see or smell.

They hold onto the lead, and when the game ends the bench floods the ice. They  _ did it _ , they’re going to the second round and Erik of all people got the game winning goal. They celebrate on the ice, but when they get back to the locker room he sees that Sam’s covered in sweat that’s from more than just the grueling game. He grasps Sam’s neck again and presses his forehead against Sam’s. The answering whimper that slips from Sam’s mouth has Erik seriously considering skipping the shower altogether so he can get him back to the hotel faster.

“Take a shower,” he orders. “I’m going to talk to coach and we’ll be back in the hotel soon.”

“Okay.” Sam nods, and heads toward the shower.

Erik speaks briefly with Bednar, who seems unhappy about losing two of his defensemen for days, but admits to Erik that they’re not the only team dealing with this. He takes the quickest shower known to man, and Sam’s waiting and dressed in sweats and a t-shirt when he comes back to the stall, his leg bouncing wildly as he stares up at Erik. He feels Sam’s eyes on him as he dresses, and he feels the scars littering his body more than he ever has before. He knows he’s got a couple blossoming bruises on his side from a few of the nastier hits from the Oilers, and he jumps when he feels the tips of Sam’s fingers run gently over one of them.

“I’m okay,” Erik reassures him, and Sam seems to finally realize what he’s doing and pulls away. “Let’s head for the bus, yeah?” Sam nods, laces his fingers through Erik’s, and lets Erik lead him to the bus. If their teammates notice the handholding, they don’t say anything, and soon enough Erik is guiding Sam out of the elevator and toward his hotel room with a hand on the small of his back. It’s only when they near his room that he realizes he just assumed which room they would go to.

“Hey.” He stops them, keeping his hand on Sam. “Do you want to go to your room?”

“No.” Sam shakes his head and steps into Erik’s space. “Your room will smell like you.”

Erik only just fights back a groan when Sam runs his nose along Erik’s neck.

He manages to get them into the room despite Sam being plastered to his side, and he has to grasp Sam’s wrists when he immediately goes for Erik’s shirt the moment they step into his room.

“Sam, I just…I need to check. Are you sure about this? Are you sure you want to do this with me?”

Despite the haze Erik is sure is settling over Sam as his heat comes on, he stares up at Erik with clear eyes and pulls his hands out of Erik’s grasp so he can cup his face.

“I’m sure. There’s no one else I want to do this with.”  _ Except your actual girlfriend _ , Erik amends, but he forces himself to push thoughts of Jacklyn out of his head as he leans down to drop a kiss to the corner of Sam’s mouth. He pulls away before Sam can change the angle and leads Sam further into the small room.

He stays silent as he tugs at the hem of Sam’s shirt, and the smaller man lets Erik strip it off of him. Erik runs his hands along Sam’s skin, taking in the compact muscle, the bruises he also has to show from a brutal series. His hands drift over his shoulders, down his arms until he can gather Sam’s hands in his own. He brings them to his mouth, dropping kisses on Sam’s knuckles that cause the younger man’s breath to hitch.

“I’m going to take care of you,” Erik vows, keeping Sam’s hands in his. “I promise.”

“I know you will.” Sam’s eyes are wide and earnest and Erik has no time to prepare for him to go up on his toes and press his lips to Erik’s. It’s soft, hesitant, until Erik drops Sam’s hands so he can grasp Sam’s face in his hands, changing the angle. He kisses him deeply, relishing the feeling of having his lips on Sam’s after wanting it for so long.

Sam opens underneath him, whimpers and claws at Erik’s shoulders until Erik leans down and grasps the back of his thighs, pulling him up. Sam wraps his legs around Erik’s waist on instinct, and Erik walks them to the bed and deposits Sam onto it as gently as possible while keeping him wrapped around Erik.

Erik hovers above him, staring down at Sam and this…this is exactly what Erik was afraid of. The way his heart cracks in his chest as he takes in Sam underneath him. The way his inner alpha screams that Sam is  _ his _ , his omega, the way he yearns to bite and claim and bond because he’s loved Sam for so long that it feels like it’s part of his DNA, an integral piece of his soul.

He knows he’s been staring for too long, too lost in how good it feels to finally have Sam like this. He leans down to kiss Sam before he says something profoundly stupid, and Sam responds immediately, tightening his grip on Erik’s waist and pulling him until Erik can feel Sam’s erection through their sweatpants. He can smell him slicking up, the air thickened with a scent of rich chocolate and saltwater, and Erik’s soon enveloped and overwhelmed by everything Sam. He lets Sam lick into his mouth, laughing against his lips when Sam laps at the gap in his teeth.

“What?” Sam asks, pulling away. Erik shakes his head and Sam smiles. “I like your missing teeth.”

“You’re a weirdo.” Erik drops down, pressing lingering kisses along Sam’s jaw and further down his neck.

“You are wearing too many clothes,” Sam grumbles, tugging at Erik’s shirt until Erik pulls away far enough to peel the shirt over his head.

“Better?” He asks, feeling uncomfortable as he watches Sam’s gaze linger over his chest.

“Much. Now come back.” Sam wraps his hand around the back of Erik’s neck, tugging him back down into a kiss. Sam’s skin is overheated, his touch growing more frantic as he begins to buck up minutely against Erik. It’s overwhelming, and Erik can’t help but wonder how he’ll survive  _ days _ of this with Sam. Days of fucking Sam, sleeping next to him, making sure he’s fed and clean and satisfied and cared for. Days of pretending like he’s Erik’s. He should have considered all of this before agreeing, but he also knows that his answer wouldn’t have changed – the thought of anyone else getting to do this with Sam has a growl escaping from his chest before he can stop it. Sam gasps, bucks into him harder, moans underneath Erik as their dicks brush through their sweatpants.

“Erik,” Sam whispers, and Erik groans into Sam’s neck.

“Tell me what you need.”

“You, please,  _ please _ Erik.” Sam tugs on the waistband of Erik’s pants, and Erik shimmies his hips as best he can to help Sam get them off. As soon he kicks them off Sam’s hand wraps around him and he drops his head to Sam’s shoulder. He groans as Sam strokes him, his grip loose but tight enough that he has Erik thrusting into his hand, desperate for more in an embarrassingly short amount of time. He sucks a mark into Sam’s shoulder to muffle his moans, fumbles with Sam’s pants until they’re hanging on his thighs.

“Pants,” Erik manages, pulling away to pull Sam’s pants all the way off, only just stopping the whimper from escaping him as his dick slips out of Sam’s grasp. The loss is soothed by the fact that he now has Sammy naked and spread out beneath him.

He’s just as beautiful as ever, all lean lines and compact muscle that Erik finally has the freedom to freely explore. He radiates quiet strength even when he’s submitting to Erik and he – he’s everything that Erik has ever wanted in an omega, in a partner.

_ He’s not yours, _ Erik reminds himself even as he runs his hands over Sam’s torso.  _ At the end of this, he still won’t be yours _ .

His heart aches at the thought, but he’s distracted when Sam reaches up and cups his ass, pulling until they’re flush against each other. Erik’s cock brushes against Sam’s and they both gasp, Sam bucking up into him.

“Erik, please,” Sam begs again, and Erik reaches between them to run his finger against Sam’s entrance to find it dripping with slick. Sam hisses as Erik brushes against his hole, teasing, and pushes against his finger. “ _ Erik _ .”

Erik’s finger slips in easily and he has to lay his free arm across Sam’s hips to hold him in place.

“Patience, mon chum,” Erik orders, and Sam groans but stills. Erik rewards him with a second finger, scissoring them as he opens Sam up. It’s easy, Sam’s slick easing the way, and he slips a third finger in that has Sam moaning and bearing down on them. As much as he wants to wait until he’s inside Sam to make him come the first time, it’s too much for Erik, watching Sam writhe and fuck himself on Erik’s fingers.

“Erik, I’m close.”

“I know, you can let go, I’m here.” Erik presses a kiss to Sam’s hip and increases the pace, wrapping his hand around Sam’s cock. It only takes a handful of strokes for Sam’s orgasm to rock through him. Erik watches, transfixed, as Sam’s entire body shudders, stripes of come marking Sam’s chest and Erik’s hand drips with more slick.

He closes his eyes as Sam reaches up and runs his fingers through Erik’s hair. He slips between Sam’s legs as the omega widens them in invitation.

“Are you sure?” he asks, reaching to cup Sam’s face. He’s dazed, obviously heat and come dumb, but he nods.

“Want you inside,” Sam murmurs, and Erik fumbles in the nightstand for the box of condoms he had bought when Sam asked him to be his heat partner. Sam’s soft beneath him, pliant, staring up at him with a small, pleased smile on his face. Erik looks away long enough to roll the condom on and line himself up with Sam’s entrance.

He slides in slowly, carefully, watching Sam’s face for any sign of discomfort. Instead, his smile only grows wider, more pleased, and he sighs in relief once Erik’s fully seated inside of him. It’s overwhelming, being inside of Sam, surrounded by heat and warmth and the scent that’s so  _ Sam _ . Erik rocks gently, trying to find a rhythm, and Sam just wraps his legs around Erik’s waist and lets him. Erik knows when he’s found Sam’s prostate, the younger man’s grip on him tightening as he bucks up into it with a groan. It’s one of the most beautiful sounds Erik has ever heard, and he makes a concerted effort to pull it from Sam again and again.

“Harder,” Sam begs, beads of sweat forming on his chest and Erik looks down to find him hard again.

“Here.” Erik wraps his arms around Sam and moves both of them until they’re closer to the headboard. He tucks an extra pillow beneath Sam’s head and leans back enough that he can grip the headboard for leverage. He thrusts into Sam, rougher than he had up to that point, and Sam throws his head back.

“Fuck,  _ yes _ ,” Sam moans, and it takes everything in Erik not to come right then and there. He pushes inside Sam, trying to brush against his prostate as often as he can, and his inner alpha preens as he watches Sam fall apart again beneath him.

“ _ Erik _ ,” Sam whimpers, coming again, and it’s that visual that sends Erik over the edge, emptying into the condom with a groan.

He all but collapses on top of Sam, but the omega seems to welcome it, wrapping his limbs around Erik and holding him there. Erik runs his nose along Sam’s neck, scenting him lazily. He dozes slightly, feeling floaty as he surrounds himself in everything Sam. He’s brought back to consciousness by Sam tugging lightly on his hair.

“I cannot breathe, mon chum,” he tells Erik with a chuckle, and pushes until Erik flops down on the bed next to him. Erik glances down at his stomach where some of Sam’s come had transferred to his skin. Sam notices it too, and before Erik can reach for something to wipe it off Sam flips onto his side and begins rubbing the come into Erik’s skin.

“Ugh, gross.” Erik complains with no heat in his voice.

“You are mine,” Sam tells him, easy as anything, and Erik turns away.

_ No, I’m not _ , he tells himself.  _ No matter how much I want to be _ .

Sam falls asleep soon after that, curled up into Erik’s side. He’d wanted to get them in the shower, clean them up, but it’s worth it to be able to watch Sam sleep peacefully. His heat will hit fully in the next few hours, and he knows from experience that sleep will be few and far between.

Sam’s beautiful, his long lashes resting against his cheeks, his hair a tousled mess. He looks even younger in his sleep, and Erik feels their ten-year difference acutely. Still, he doesn’t stop himself from reaching out, running the back of his fingers across Sam’s cheek and into his hair. Sam turns into his touch unconsciously, scenting his hand, like he’s reaching out for Erik even in his sleep. He’s so beautiful and Erik’s chest hurts with just how much he feels for the omega. He drops a kiss on Sam’s forehead and pulls him further into him as he drifts off to sleep.

He’s awoken some time in the middle of the night by Sam rocking against him, precome and slick covering his thigh as Sam whimpers.

“Shhh, it’s okay.” Erik soothes, turning them until Sam is underneath him. Sam opens his eyes and they’re glazed over, his pupils dilated as he stared up at Erik. “I’ve got you.”

Sam’s still loose from earlier, but he takes the time to finger him open again then reaches for another condom. This time, when he slides inside Sam, it’s familiar but no less mind-blowing. They move slowly against one another – Erik’s not sure either one of them are entirely awake – and Erik drops kisses over Sam’s face, his neck, his collarbone as he pushes them toward their release. Sam clutches his shoulder, his nails digging into his skin as his quiet gasps turn to whimpers. Erik reaches for him between them, but Sam bats his hand away.

“I’m close,” he whispers to Erik, and a few thrusts later he comes untouched between them. That thought alone sends Erik over the edge. He manages to not collapse on top of Sam this time, but Sam clings to him despite their sweat-slick, come-covered disgusting bodies.

“We need to shower.” Erik tells him, and Sam shakes his head.

“ _ Plus tard _ ,” Sam whispers, already half asleep, and Erik resigns himself to another few hours of his skin feeling disgusting but having Sam in his arms.

He manages to get them in the shower as the sun is coming up, practically carrying the smaller man into the bathroom and propping him up against the sink as he gets the water started. He lets Erik maneuver him under the spray, soaking his hair. He makes no move to clean it himself, so Erik squeezes some of his shampoo into his hand and runs it through Sam’s hair, massaging it into his scalp. Sam’s eyes flutter closed, his lips parted, and  _ god _ Erik’s so goddamn gone for him. He rinses the shampoo out and then goes to work on cleaning Sam’s body, scrubbing the come and sweat off of him, paying special attention to the slick between his thighs. Sam shudders and sighs, and Erik has to wrap an arm around his waist to keep him upright.

Once he’s steady on his feet, he slips Sam behind him. He plasters himself to Erik’s back as soon as he’s there, dropping kisses along Erik’s shoulders and then down his spine. He nudges Erik’s hips until Erik turns, shampoo in his hair, and he finds Sam on his knees and  _ that’s _ a sight that Erik won’t forget for the rest of his pathetic life. Sam looks up at him with wide eyes, but a wicked smile as he takes Erik in hand. He licks Erik from base to tip, swirls his tongue around the head before swallowing him down. It’s more than Erik expects so quickly and he has to brace himself on the shower wall to keep himself standing. Sam’s mouth is warm and wet and when he hums around Erik’s rapidly hardening dick he has to stuff his fist into his mouth to muffle his groan. Sam works him quick and fast, more enthusiasm than finesse – Erik vaguely wonders whether Sam’s actually been with a man before, since he’s been with Jacklyn for so long – but it’s  _ Sam _ and he’s  _ sucking Erik’s dick _ and it doesn’t take long for him to be edging close to coming again despite the multiple orgasms he’d had the night before. He wraps his fingers around Sam’s hair and tugs in warning, but Sam only groans and tries to take Erik deeper.

“Sam,” Erik warns, tugging on his hair again. “Sammy, I’m gonna-“ Sam hums and a moment later Erik comes down his throat. Sam takes it all, and he only pulls off when Erik pulls away, leaning against the shower wall.

“Holy shit,” Erik breathes, and Sam stays on his knees, pressing his face to Erik’s thigh. Erik leaves him there, quickly washes the shampoo out of his hair and washes off his body.

Sam lets him wrap him in a fluffy white towel and bundle him back into the bed. He orders room service, but Sam is rutting against him again before it can get there, and Erik gets him off with his fingers and mouth just as there’s a knock at the door. Sam sets the food out on the table, and Erik doesn’t say anything when Sam drags his chair until it’s next to Erik’s. He turns on a movie to watch as they pick off of each other’s plates, but Sam spends most of his time nosing along Erik’s jaw and neck, scenting him between bites of food. Erik wouldn’t be able to tell anyone a single thing about the movie, too lost in the feel of Sam nuzzling him.

He lets his hand drift down to Sam’s thigh, squeezing, and Sam takes that as permission to disregard the food in favor of swinging himself into Erik’s lap. Erik lets his hands grasp Sam’s hips, returning the eager smile that Sam shoots his way.

“Ready to go again?” Erik asks, and Sam nods. Sam hadn’t bothered with clothes after their last round, tying the towel around his waist instead. In a flash, the towel’s across the room and Sam’s mouth finds Erik’s. His kiss is searing and he presses against Erik like he wants to fuse them together.

“Too much.” Sam murmurs against his lips, tugging at the pajama pants he’d thrown on after his shower. “Why do you wear so much clothes?” He stars speaking in French, and Erik can’t really follow with Sam’s hands so close to his dick. He thinks about moving them to the bed, but Sam seems content to straddle his thighs, especially once he gets Erik’s pants around his ankles.

“Need to prep you,” Erik groans, but Sam swats his hand away.

“I’m ready,” he promises, lining himself up with Erik’s dick and sinking down. He’s deep in his heat now, wet and open and so, so good. Erik digs his teeth into Sam’s shoulder to muffle his moan of pleasure and Sam bucks into him.

“Yes,  _ yes _ ,” he groans, entangling his hands in the hair at the back of Erik’s head and holding his mouth there. Erik bites deeper, harder, then soothes the ache with his tongue as Sam moves gently over him. It isn’t enough friction to get them anywhere really, but Sam clings to him all the same, whimpering every time his movements cause Erik’s cock to brush against his prostate. Erik detaches himself from Sam’s shoulder, overly pleased at the raised red mark he’d left. He lets his thumb drift over it and the noise that escapes Sam has Erik’s gaze snapping up to his face. He looks…

He looks  _ wrecked _ .

He looks  _ beautiful _ .

Suddenly, the moment’s too intense for Erik to handle. It‘s too close to how he’d imagined they’d be together. Too close to how he imagined it would be to  _ really _ have Sam. It has Erik imagining what it would be like, to have Sam love him – love him the way that he loves Sam. To bite and claim and bond and  _ own _ Sam. To know that no one else would ever have him the way Erik does now.

“ _ Fuck _ .” Erik groans, throwing his head back to rest on the back of the chair. He can’t look at Sam right now, because he knows if he does he’ll say something supremely fucking stupid. Sam, on the other hand, seems to take that as permission to press his lips to Erik’s neck. It’s a vulnerable position for an alpha, but Erik trusts Sam more than almost anyone he knows. If he was going to expose himself like that with anyone, it would be with Sam.

Sam begins to move against him with more urgency, bouncing faster on his cock as he mouths up and down Erik’s neck. “Erik,” he whispers, and Erik feels it against his skin more than he hears it. “Erik, I need…”

“What do you need?” he asks, running his hands along Sam’s side. “Tell me what you need, baby.” Sam’s hips stutter and he groans into Erik’s neck.

“Knot me,” he asks, and Erik feels like he’d been punched in the gut. “Please knot me.”

It’s not something that Erik does often, too intimate for casual partners and he hasn’t had a steady boyfriend in years. Outside of rut, he hasn’t had the urge in so long, but now, staring up at Sam as he fucks himself on Erik’s dick, he shudders at the thought of giving Sam his knot, of tying them together.

“ _ S'il vous plait, Erik, please _ ,” Sam whimpers, and Erik nods.

“Okay, okay. But not here, we have to go to the bed,” Erik tells him, and Sam just whimpers and thrusts down on him. Erik knows there’s no way he’s going to get Sam to disentangle himself long enough to get to the bed. “Okay sweetheart, I’ve got you. Wrap your arms around my neck.”

Sam complies, and Erik’s able to lift them up despite his bad knee groaning in protest. Sam wraps his legs around his waist once again, and Erik somehow manages to keep them joined as he crosses the room. Sam’s as still as possible in his arms, dropping kisses along Erik’s neck. He somehow shuffles them to the middle of the bed, and Sam whimpers as Erik begins to thrust into him. He keeps his limbs wrapped around Erik, pulling him in tight and clinging as Erik’s movements grow more erratic.

“Are you sure?” He manages to grit out between thrusts, and Sam nods frantically. He edges closer, and when Sam comes undone beneath him he finally tips over the edge. He feels his knot grow inside of Sam, locking them together, and Sam’s legs wrap tighter around his waist. Sam’s breaths are heavy and uneven, his eyes closed so Erik can look his fill. He looks content, peaceful, and Erik loves him so much he feels like he might burst from it.

Once his knot is full and seated inside of Sam, he gently unwraps Sam’s legs from his waist, massages his hip joints before turning them on their sides. Sam goes easily, their legs resting over each other. Sam finally opens his eyes once they’re settled, and he smiles sleepily at Erik.

“Are you okay, mon chum?” Sam nods and rests a hand on the side of Erik’s neck that feels like a brand to Erik, burning him down to the bone.

“Thank you. Thank you for doing this for me,” Sam says softly, and then he’s asleep between one breath and the next. Erik watches him, threads his fingers through Sam’s hair.

“I’d do anything for you,” Erik admits to Sam’s sleeping face, running his thumb along his cheekbone. “I love you so much, Sam.”

They sleep fitfully between sex for the rest of the day and night. Erik does his best to keep up as Sam’s heat peaks, but he’s also not twenty-two years old anymore. He gets Sam off several times with his mouth or fingers, but Sam begs him for his knot again and again, and Erik’s helpless to refuse him. He bites his tongue every time he wants to ask for more, more than Sam is willing to give.

He wakes up on the second full day – Erik thinks it’s the second day, at least, he’s lost track – to Sam peppering kisses along his chest, landing on the scars on his shoulder. He looks up at Erik and Erik gives him a small smile.

“From my shoulder surgery,” he tells him. He gasps when Sam kisses the scars, lingering and warm.

“T'es beau comme,” he says against Erik’s skin, so quiet that he almost can’t hear him. “Ils sont en amour par-dessus la tête,” he continues as he crawls down Erik’s body. Erik caught the  _ amour _ but he has no idea what else Sam said, and then he’s too distracted by Sam’s mouth around his dick to give it more thought.

Sam licks and sucks and strokes him to hardness, then crawls back up him and sinks down on Erik in one smooth move. Erik groans, grips Sam’s hips as he moves torturously slow above him. His heat must be close to breaking, judging by how in control he seems to be, and Erik’s heart aches in his chest because that means this is almost over. Sam’s heat is almost finished, and then they’ll be done. They’ll go back to being friends and d-partners. When the playoffs are done they’ll go home – hopefully with something shiny – and Jacklyn will be waiting for Sam, and Erik…

Erik will go home alone.

Sam’s movements grow more frantic, all finesse gone, and Erik’s grateful that Sam seems to be lost in the moment, so he doesn’t catch the tears that escape despite Erik’s best efforts. He comes, his knot tying them together, and Sam follows a moment later. He collapses onto Erik’s chest, his cheek resting over his heart, his breaths heavy. Erik thinks that it can’t be very comfortable, but when he tries to move them while locked together Sam just whines and clings tighter to him. He settles for running his fingers up and down Sam’s spine, the room silent except for their breathing and Sam’s whimpers when Erik’s knot brushes against his prostate.

When Erik can finally pull out of Sam, he does so slowly. Sam sighs and Erik just knows that his heat is over.

“How are you feeling?” he asks as Sam slips off of him and onto the bed.

“Good.” He stretches, and Erik looks his fill for one last time. “I need to shower.”

“Okay. I’ll shower after you.”

“We could shower together.” Sam runs the tips of his fingers along Erik’s chest, a mischievous smile on his face, and Erik shakes his head.

“I’m really tired. Gonna nap while you shower.”

“Oh.” Sam pulls away, nodding. “Okay.”

“Take your time,” he tells him, turning until his back is facing Sam.

Sam doesn’t look at him when they cross each other as Erik goes for his own shower later, and Erik hopes desperately that they haven’t ruined their friendship during this whole ill-advised adventure. He does his best to scrub away all of the evidence of them, every bit of Sam’s scent from his skin. Sam must notice when he comes out, because his nose wrinkles when Erik has to get close to him to reach his phone. There’s dozens of missed calls and texts from their teammates, and Erik swipes away the notifications without looking at them.

He watches as Sam gets dressed, looks at his own phone, then back at Erik.

“Do you want to go downstairs and get some lunch?” He asks, and Erik wants to say yes, wants to stretch their time together out as long as possible, but he shakes his head.

“I’m really beat. I think I’m going to just order some room service.”

“Okay.” Sam stares down at the ground, his face twisting into something that Erik can’t read, then he nods and smiles at Erik. It looks small and fake. “I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow Sam.”

A moment later, the door shuts quietly and Erik’s alone again.

The next morning, Sam doesn’t greet him at breakfast, sits with JT and Josty and Erik ends up with Landy, Nate, and Willy.

“Tired of each other?” Nate chirps, throwing his head toward Sam’s table. Erik rolls his eyes but doesn’t say anything, just picks at his eggs.

“You okay?” Gabe asks, nudging him with his elbow.

“Yeah, of course. Just tired.”

“Yeah, you are! Sammy seems like a handful.” Nate slaps a hand on his shoulder and Erik only just suppresses a growl, but he thinks Nate got the message anyway. No one says anything else to him until he and Gabe are lining up to get on the bus. The other alpha grips his shoulder until Erik turns to look at him. His face is worried, serious, and Erik knows he’s in full Captain Mode.

“Are you sure you’re okay? I know that must have been a lot.” Gabe is one of the only people who knows about Erik’s  _ feelings _ , having drunkenly confessed to them on Gabe’s sofa one night while smushed between Gabe and Tyson.

“Yeah, man, I’m fine.”

“Is Sam?” He asks, and Erik’s eyes instinctively search out for where Sam is at the front of the line with Josty. He looks as good as ever – maybe a little tired, dark circles under his eyes – but fine.

“I think so.”

“Then why won’t he look at you? Did something happen during his heat?”

“What do you want me to say, Landy? He went into heat, we fucked, now it’s over. He’s going to – it’s just…it’s over, okay?”

“Okay,” Gabe concedes. “But I’m here if you need to talk.”

“If I need to talk to anyone I’ll reach out to your better half,” he chirps, and Gabe laughs because he knows that, even after being traded to Toronto, the team still goes to Tyson when they need a shoulder to cry on. Gabe’s a good guy, but his boyfriend’s the one who will show up on your doorstep with a bottle of wine and a pint of nutritionist-banned ice cream when needed.

Practice goes as well as can be expected, but Sam only speaks to Erik when he has to. When he looks at Erik there’s something  _ hurt _ in his eyes and Erik has to fight the urge to push into his space, press his hands to his skin and hold him like he’d held him in his hotel room, rip off his helmet and mess him up, scent him until there’s no mistaking who he belongs to.

_ Fuck _ , Erik thinks as they head toward the locker room. This is exactly what he had been afraid of.

He avoids everyone’s eyes as he showers and dresses and waits in the stands for the call to load onto the bus. He’s picking at a loose string at the hem of his hoodie when he smells Josty approaching. He settles softly into the seat next to Erik but doesn’t say anything.

“What’s up, Josty?” Erik finally asks, desperate to break the silence.

“What’s going on with you and Sammy?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, you guys are best friends, then you went off to ride through his heat together and we all thought….well, whatever. But you guys came back and all of a sudden you won’t even look at him.”

“Josty…”

“I know it’s none of my business, but you and Sam are my friends and he’s hurting-“

“What’s wrong with him?” Erik snaps his head around to face Josty so fast it almost hurts. “Is he okay?”

“ _ Emotionally _ , moron.” Josty tells him. “He’s hurting  _ emotionally _ because he thinks that he did something wrong with you.”

“I know he regrets it,” Erik nods. “It’s not his fault he couldn’t ride his heat out with his girlfriend, but I did my best to not confuse things, not let my – I really tried.”

“His girlfriend? You mean  _ Jacklyn _ ?” Erik’s stomach twists at the name, but he nods. “EJ, they’re not together anymore.”

“What?” Erik’s heart suddenly feels like it’s in his throat.

“Yeah, he went home with her when this whole thing started, but they broke up while they were in Roberval. She didn’t come back with him to Denver. Did he not tell you?”

“I…” He trails off and Josty laughs.

“Of course he didn’t,” Josty scoffs. “You’re both idiots.” He slaps Erik’s arm and stands up. “Let’s go.”

Sam still doesn’t sit with him on the bus ride back to the hotel, but Erik watches him and finds Sam sending him small glances back when he thinks that Erik’s not looking. When they get off the bus he reaches out and grasps Sam’s elbow gently. Sam looks warily at him, but doesn’t pull his arm away.

“Can I talk to you? In private?” Sam looks like he wants to say no, but eventually he nods and lets Erik lead him away from where the team is heading to the hotel’s restaurant for lunch and toward the elevators. They’re silent, a distance between them that feels deliberate and makes Erik’s chest hurt. He flips the room card in his hand over and over to give his hand something to do, and fails in his attempts to not look over at Sam every few seconds.

They’re still silent when they enter Erik’s room, and having Sam back in the space where they’d ridden out Sam’s heat, where Erik had had Sam the way he’d wanted for so long, had him fighting the urge to close the distance between them by slamming Sam into the wall and kissing him senseless. They need to talk about this like adults, he reasons, and instead they head to sit on the edge of the bed. He hopes that Sam will sit next to him, but instead he takes a seat at the small table, staring down at his hands.

“I’m sorry,” Erik breaks the silence, and Sam looks up at him  _ finally _ . “I handled it badly, after your heat ended.”

“It’s okay,” Sam shrugs. “I know what it meant to you, what happened with us. I shouldn’t have-“

“Why didn’t you tell me you and Jacklyn broke up?” Sam seems startled by the question, and Erik shrugs. “Josty told me.”

“I…It never came up.”

“Sam,” Erik presses, and Sam sighs and throws his hands in the air.

“I didn’t want you to think that I was trying to, I don’t know, rebound with you.”

“You asked me to be your heat partner.”

“Yes.”

“Don’t you think that I should have known that when you asked me?” Sam squirms in his seat, wrings his hands to the point that Erik wants to grab them just to get him to stop. When Sam turns his head just enough that he can see that his eyes are wet, Erik’s off of the bed and kneeling at Sam’s feet before he can think about it, tangling his fingers with Sam’s.

“Oh, mon chum,” Erik coos gently. “It’s okay.”

“Do you know what that means?” Sam asks, his voice choked and quiet. “Mon chum?” Erik shrugs, and Sam’s answering laugh is wet.

“It means boyfriend. I know that it started as a joke, but…Jacklyn, we broke up because she said she couldn’t compete.”

“Compete with what?”

“With you,” Sam admits. “I didn’t tell you that we broke up because I was afraid that if I did you wouldn’t go through my heat with me. Because then you’d…you’d  _ know _ .”

“I love you.” It’s not what Erik intends to say, but it’s out there now and Erik can’t bring himself to regret it.

“I know.” Sam disentangles one of his hands from Erik’s and runs his fingers along Erik’s cheek. “I heard you, when you thought that I was asleep. I was so happy, but then when my heat was over you acted like it meant nothing. I thought maybe I’d imagined it happening.”

“I’m so sorry.” Erik rests his head on Sam’s thigh, sighs when he feels Sam’s hand slide through his hair. “I didn’t think you felt that way about me.”

“We’re both stupid,” Sam chuckles.

“The stupidest,” Erik agrees, his voice muffled by Sam’s pant leg. He pulls away so he can look up at Sam, whose smile is finally  _ happy _ again, and it’s all Erik wants to look at for the rest of his life.

“Will you kiss me?” Sam asks, and Erik ignores the twinge in his knee to push himself up and press his lips to Sam’s.

It’s everything he’s ever wanted. 

**Author's Note:**

> come scream with me about dumb hockeys on tumblr @bennsseguin


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